Evan Mahaney's

Leprechaun Talk

Graphics was the centerpiece item for discussion as the Leprechauns gathered for a discourse on the state of the Internet.
I looked carefully at the eyes of the Leprechauns and every one of them was slightly bloodshot. I asked, "Did you guys go out last night and partake of the schnapps?"
"Ha," replied one Leprechaun whose eyes were particularly bloodshot. "We wish. And it wouldn't be Schnapps anyway. It would be good Irish Whisky. But these bloodshot eyes come from peering into thousands of web sites, watching those incredible graphics slowly form."
He went on to say that the group had been focusing on whether the Madison Avenue "suits" had taken over the Internet's web sites. The conclusion was that they had. And in so doing had nearly ruined the web for those people who are seeking content and information.

Revenge of the computer user

"However," the Leprechaun continued, "the tide is turning. We surveyed about 15,000 users and found that fully one-third of them have turned off their graphics. The trend we see coming from all this is that by June or July we expect at least half of the users on the Internet will have flicked their graphics icon to off and possibly two-thirds will learn to do this by 1997."
Another Leprechaun, this one much younger (and prettier and with better eyesight) concurred, much to my surprise. She said, "Methinks the advertising and desktop publishing bunch who invaded the sanctity of the Internet will find themselves on the outside looking in before too long. Real users of web pages just aren't all that enthralled any more with great graphics. What they really want is fast information."
She continued, saying, "You know, this motley bunch stylists without function have danced this routine before. They totally destroyed some good, old, informational newsletters a few years ago, replacing them with glitzed up graphics and going-nowhere designs. The readers of those hard copy newsletters had no way to fight back.
"But with the Internet and WWW pages, the users are fighting back by turning off the graphics. The owners of those web pages are going to be mightily ticked off when the terrible truth sinks in that a $75 per hour airhead designer has wiped out their advantage on the net."

Caesar gathering in taxes

I told them that it seemed to me Internet users, in addition to being targeted by Madison Avenue "suits," were also beginning to find themselves the target of politicians. I mentioned the fact that in little Nova Scotia (Canada) the provincial government has slapped an 11% sales tax on all Internet services.
This brought Mr. Grouser jumping to his feet. Mr. Grouser has never, in about 101 years, met a tax or fee he likes. He tends to get red in the face and quite emotional when discussing taxes.
"Nova Scotia isn't alone," he yelled. "Why even towns and counties are getting in on this taxation bit. It will be the ruination of the Internet." He explained that, for instance, in Spokane, Washington, the home state of Microsoft, the city attempted to impose a 6% tax on Internet providers, who vowed to pass it on to the users.
"But them there council persons hadn't counted on the wrath of computer users," Mr. Grouser continued. "Boy, they all got hit up side the head with letters and cards and e-mail and even a quickly devised Web site that allowed users to vent their anger. The jerks backed off by employing their favorite dodge, saying they would study the matter further. What that translates to is they'll slip it in some late night when no one is watching."
Mr. Grouser, with unanimous concurrence from the rest of the Leprechauns, said taxation of the Internet qualified as one of the most dangerous trends coming in the next few years. "If there's one thing all politicians have in common," he said, "it's their love of finding something new to tax. And right now that's the Internet."
He concluded saying, "Between the glitzy web pages and their useless graphics and the sptizy poiticians and their quest for something to tax -- the Internet may be ruined before it gets going good."
His final comment brought protest from most of the other Leprechauns, however. Their general consensus was that the Internet users were more than capable of fighting the tax man and the Madison Avenue crowd. Another of the female Leprechauns put it this way:
"Internet users have both the will and the means to fight back against taxes, against censorship and against hijacking by groups like Madison Avenue suits. The users will still rule the Internet. There may be some taxation slip in here and there, but it will have to be reasonable or the whole Internet community will fight them tooth and nail."

Cost of Internet use goes down

Another Leprechaun, who answers to the name of Mr. Suave, joined in to say that despite some taxation, when all the cost is averaged out, Internet use will cost less in the future than it does now. This brought some baleful states from his fellow wee ones. One spoke up saying, "Explain that, Suave."
"It's simple," the urbane one replied, "As in all things having to do with the computer, costs go down -- not up. For example, about a year ago the average cost for unlimited use of the Internet from a provider was $40 to $50 per month. That is now down to $20 to $30.
If you happen to live in New York city, you can take advantage of a deal from Prodigy to get Internet service for $1 an hour. For someone using less that 20 hours a month, this is a big savings. Believe me, the providers are offering cut rates, special deals and deep discounts. They are like tropical fish -- they eat their young to stay in business. This means lower rates. And I would expect the tax man to realize the same thing and maneuver some sort of tax hit on the services. Still and all, the user will come out with overall lower costs."
With that, the Leprechauns turned their attention to utterances of the great and near-great in ComputerLand.