Leprechaun Talk

Every country in the world has a busybody. These are the people who have an opinion on everything and are endlessly making the rounds of television, newspaper and radio - always harshly criticizing everything from jet airplanes to Internet browsers.

The Leprechauns do not take kindly to busybodies - probably because they fit that mold themselves. But one of their least favorable meddlers is a guy name Ralph Nader in the United States. Nader has been around seemingly forever. He calls himself a "consumer advocate" but the Leprechauns call him a narcissist glory-hog. Their lack of respect for Nader showed up in this conversation among the Wee Ones.

Mr. Snyde: "I'm sure he was using inside information from the Justice Department to make his latest foray into the Microsoft monopoly story."

Mr. Barrister: "Oh, there's no doubt about that. Nader couldn't care less about software and the computer industry - he barely knows the difference between a keyboard and a monitor. His idea of a good computer is a legal-size yellow pad and a Number 2 soft pencil. But he's made such a business of being an outsider attacking the establishment that he's worked his way into the inside of the Justice Department and now just cherry-picks the latest news."

Mr. Snearing: "You are telling us that Nader knew Justice was going to pop Gates one, so he started his big publicity campaign and rallying under the Nader flag just to take advantage of his inside information?"

Mr. Barrister: "Correct. Prior to learning what the Justice Department planned I dare say all he knew about Bill Gates was that he was rich."

Ms. Leglebeek: "You 'dare say'? Good grief Mr. Barrister, do you not know for sure whether he got inside information?"

Mr. Barrister: "No, no named sources I can call on. But the scuttlebutt around the DOJ leaves me to believe what I say is sustainable. The last 'big' campaign Nader was involved in was running for president. Methinks his motives run more to gaining publicity for another run rather than helping computer users."

I broke into the conversation with my usual question about trends. "What does all this nit-picking have to do with trends? Please remember, my little friends, that our job is to spot trends in the computing business."

Computer Industry will buy political support

Ms. Lockjaw fixed me with a stare meant to turn me into stone and said, "How short-sighted you are, O lover of Magic Meringue Pie. What you are seeing is the beginning of a major political shift that will effect the whole computer industry for many, many years to come. And it might even mean higher prices for both hardware and software."

I was somewhat skeptical of this pronouncement and asked for more details. Ms. Lockjaw was only to glad to continue. "The computer industry is going to become a major contributor to politicians looking for election funds. For one thing, there is a void left in political funding as Big Tobacco begins its exit from the political wars. So politicians are looking for some deep pockets to tap and lo and behold, there sits a very vulnerable business - computers and software."

She continued, "You see, Mr. Nader and his misdirected meddling is going to have a far-reaching outcome quite different from what he envisioned. The high-profile case the Justice Department has pursued against Microsoft will make all software companies - and hardware manufacturers - start looking at the political ramifications of their business. They are going to suddenly come to the conclusion that they are vulnerable to political forces.

"So Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Jim Barksdale, Michael Dell, and all the other CyberBiz types will do what other big businesses have been doing for years - buy some political clout. A year from now when senators and representative and governors and would-be presidents disclose their campaign finance donors you will see the names of Microsoft, Apple, Sun, Intel and the like right up there with Philip Morris, Exxon, General Motors, Shell Oil and the other big spenders."

Even before he spoke I knew that Mr. Repeete would sound like an echo of Ms. Lockjaw. Mr. Repeete would make a good assistant for Ralph Nader. "The world is changing," he said, "meaning that computer-related industries are going to have to join the political process instead of standing on the sidelines like nerds. Their nerd days are over. Now they are players in the give and take of the political world. Those that don't give will be taken to the cleaners by politicians who will use laws, lawsuits, jousting and favoritism to harm them. It's known as legalized bribery."

I was amazed. Never before had Mr. Repeete made such a forthright stand. He usually just repeats what has been said. And that made me realize that the Leprechauns were onto something. The computer industry has been pretty much laid back when it comes to political shenanigans. I guess they thought they could adopt a California beach bum attitude and no one would bother them.

But between Ralph Nader, Janet Reno and a whole lot of pushing and shoving, the computer industry is going to look around and see just how vulnerable they are to politicians who want part of their action. The halcyon days of innocence are over. Political reality will soon overtake the whole computer industry with money streaming out of the silicone valleys of the world into the pockets of politicos who will then try to "protect" them from the big, mean government.

"History does repeat itself," said Mr. Scathe, "or as Yoggi Bera once said - 'it's d_j_ vu all over again.'"

Porn On The Business Monitors

I wanted to change the subject - politicians lining up money from the computer industry upset my myopic view of the world. I asked if there was anything else that pointed to new trends.

"Well, here's something of interest," Mr. Contrarian said. "It would appear that all those filtering packages like Net Nanny and CyberPatrol may be doing just as much work in the business offices as in the children's rooms in homes."

What Mr. Contrarian was referring to was a recent study by an outfit called Digital Detective Services Inc. It is a computer forensics and high-tech private investigations firm in Virginia. They studied results from 150 individual investigations they made over the past 11 months and found that about 25 percent of the business computers in firms they worked with had pornography stashed away on the hard drives - most of it obtained through the Internet. While this limited study cannot be extrapolated to fit a national or worldly model - it still points out how insidious the Internet sex sites are.

The trend? Don't be surprised to see all flavors of businesses, from corporate to the small retail store, beginning to use filtering devices on their computers to block out Usenet and Internet sex sites. Those who make filtering software will probably now refocus their markets to include business computers.

Phrases that need translating

Users aren't talking on the phone. They are sending E-mail or files.

[Joel Maloff, president of Maloff Group commenting on latest study showing voice phone use down and data phone use up.]

Translation: Telephone companies are working on new ways to bill clients so they can make more money from Internet use.

"There will now be one upgrade for all Windows users, and that takes additional time."

[Microsoft spokesperson relaying news that Windows 98 will be late - it may be released by May, 1998.]

Translation: Late? What else is new? This is Microsoft we're talking about, right?

"It's too time-consuming to pursue that avenue [anti-trust against Microsoft], especially bearing in mind they have better lawyers than the government. We may as well concentrate on moving into areas where they wouldn't be dominant, such as Java."

[Michael Cowpland, CEO of Corel, talking about his next move.]

Translation: Viva Java.

"Estimated number of e-mail messages that will be sent in the year 1997, in trillions: 2.7"

[From Win Treese's Internet Index.]

Translation: That's 2,700,000,000,000. Ho hum.

"The latest software isn't empowering these usersit is disrupting their working day."

[Comment by Geoff Seabrook of SCO after survey they ordered showed that personal computers caused stress and wasted time.]

Translation: Let's go back to steno pads, green ledger cards and live telephone operators.

"In terms of the major new version, we're [on] a wait-and-see [basis] and hope that we can focus our major new work on the NT code base and do a consumer flavor of that as the next major evolution."

[Bill Gates in an interview with CNET NEWS.]

Translation: Say goodbye to Windows 98 even before it gets here. Windows NT is where we are going today.